Family Values

Family Values the left and right of it
“Family Values” rhetoric is a loaded with meaning which in the media and the general public imagination has been captured by the conservative right; yet secular and religious progressives are not devoid of values when it comes to familial relations. Like many of the divides between right and left overemphasis of the difference is unfruitful and benefits neither side.
“Family values” has become a symbol and slogan for conservatives, the term carrying traditionalist connotations. The stereotype of this socially conservative ideology limits the term family to a nuclear married heterosexual child-rearing unit, to the exclusion of all others. However, in my experience conservatives do recognize that family units often include grand-parents in need of care and other sorts of non-nuclear arrangements such as foster-children and step-children.
The bible records a multitude of family models, many of which do not fit modern conservative ideals yet display qualities that are pleasing to God. One of ironies of the right’s claim to the biblical high ground in family values is that the bible does not venerate the nuclear model of family, in fact I’ve not found one example of a family in the bible that has two parents raring their own children and doing so successfully. The bible does however offer many positive and negative examples of how to treat each other and provides a good deal of didactic material about the roles and responsibilities of parents and children and more generally how we are to care for our relatives.
‘Family’ may be considered from two perspectives the first concerns ‘the who’ of the family and the second concerns ‘the how’. The first approach to defining family is one that conservatives seem to give priority to. The right legitimates biological relations so that mum, dad and their children become the central construct. The addition of other relations may also be considered valuable, however the inclusion of others outside of the biological component is seen as less than ideal and the removal of one or both parents to be avoided. Because of the right’s opposition to divorce, unmarried parenting, to same-sex relations and same sex partners raising children a good deal of their moral crusade is concerned with the who of such familial relations.
The left and the right disagree as to the impact and importance of the who in family values, but there is much common ground on the what of family values. The right may do its cause more good by concentrating more on the what so that children in particular may receive good nurture regardless of the type of family they are raised in. Progressives emphasise values relevant to ensuring successful families, regardless of the form of the family unit. The purpose of families, from giving care to dependents to providing a stimulating , nurturing and fulfilling home life are all functions progressives have an interest in advancing. Progressives recognise that families exist and operate for many varied reasons; for example to provide quality childrearing conditions and or, economic security, emotional security, spiritual nurture, fulfilment, intimacy, vocational support, collaboration.
By attacking the form of heterodox families, conservatives unnecessarily antagonise a large section of society which might otherwise be more receptive to its influence in terms of how relations within families can be strengthened. Conservative values such as respect for parental authority and parental responsibility, within the context of loving committed relationships are important within any family caring for children. The Christian virtues of: forgiveness, compassion, honesty, patience, valuing others, trust, commitment and reliability are not at odds with progressive family values. These virtues can be found in families of all types and while conservatives are keen to promote the benefits of raising children in a loving married family; they also need to avoid marginalising those who seek the same ends, but have found themselves in families which have a different form. Let us please put more energy into the values that we place on families and that families imbibe rather than on the form that families take.